Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Beware of Nerds with Assault Rifles


Disclaimer: I am a nerd and I looooove nerds: I married one and together he and I have produced four more, doing our part to ensure that the nerd dynasty lives on for generations to come. And the best thing about being a nerd is recognizing nerdy traits in others, and then making fun of them for it. At our house we do a lot of this:


Today was a red-letter day for all the denizens of Gamer Nerdom. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 was released at 12:00 a.m. (I pride myself that I actually had to Google the exact name of the game.) This is the kind of event that brings the nerds out in droves, standing in line for the stroke of midnight, then running home giggling in geeky glee to begin the massacre.


Cameron’s birthday was last Saturday, but we gave him an IOU for COD as part of his gift. We had reserved it in advance and Joe planned to pick it up after work. Then last night Cam’s sweet, nerdy dad decided to pull an audible and pick it up early so little nerd could
start playing right after school, without having to wait for Joe to get home. While we were out getting groceries we went by Nerd World to pay for the game so Joe would just have to stop in after midnight and swap his receipt for the grail. I mean…the game.

I have to say, I’ve got his back on this one. I’ve always thought that the most fun parts of parenting are saying yes when the kids are sure you’ll say no and surprising the heck out of them with something they never saw coming.

When we pulled up around 7:00 p.m., there were already about 25 people in line.

Disclaimer #2: Sometimes when I post conversations between me and Joe, I embellish my lines just a little. It’s the only time in my life when I get to be the funny one and Joe has to be the straight guy (huh-huh…)

Me (with great excitement): Oh. My. Gawd. I will give you 50 bucks if you lean out of the car and holler, “Nerrrrrrrds!!!”


Joe
: That offer would be a lot more enticing if we didn’t share a bank account. I’d basically be paying myself to get jumped by a crowd of nerds.

Me: So, if you can pay for your game in advance, then lollygag back in here after midnight, why are all these nerds in line?

Joe: It’s the experience. They’re excited and want to hang out with other fans.

Me: That’s great, but if any nerd-on-nerd action breaks out, I’m outta here. In fact, I think I’m going to just wait in the car.

Joe: Oh come on, I’m the one coming back up here at midnight, the least you can do is come in with me now.

Me (eyeing the crowd uneasily): I’m not sure any of these nerds have actually seen a girl before. I fear for my safety.

Joe: Oh, they’ve seen girls alright. That’s what the internet is for.

We go inside, which surprisingly doesn’t smell like nerds. I remember back in the day video game stores smelled like someone’s basement after ten stinky geeks were down there playing D&D all night.

Me: Nerd World must have a helluva ventilation system.

Joe: It’s not just unwashed, socially-inept geeks who play video games anymore. It’s high school kids like Cam, college students, even supercool dads.

Me: Awesome! Where are the supercool dads?

It went on and on like this all night. Bottom line: Cam not only got his game right after midnight, he convinced his dad to let him stay up and tag along to the store, then play two hours of COD before finally going to bed. Sorry, Cam’s teachers: he may not be his best today, but he’ll be in class. That’s more than I can say for some kids, who were actually allowed to actually stay home from school to play all day long. Their parents must be Nerds of a Higher Level.

Joe said the nerd-watching experience was worth staying up late. “I wish I had thought to bring the camera. Those were some high-quality nerds.”

Let me leave you with this thought to ponder. The guy working at Nerd World told us they expected 400 people to pick up their games at or soon after midnight. And that’s just in our small, suburban town’s branch of Nerd World. Extrapolate that out and you’ve got literally jillions of nerds worldwide. Cool people better beware. Nerds now how sniping skills.

1 comment:

Ioana-Carmen said...

Hello doll! I`m watching your blog for a while! do you wanna follow each other? kisses

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