Friday, September 23, 2011

A Stupid Little TABLE! Tale

This morning I needed to lug our six-foot, portable banquet table into work. Long story, but the most important part is that it was important. As in, crucial enough that if I forgot it, I would have to turn around and come back home for it, even if I was 59 minutes into my hour-long drive.

So last night I did what I always do when I need to remember something: I put a large, obnoxious sign on the back hallway door leading into the garage, and this time the sign read: TABLE!

Clever, huh?

Sweet Beezo saw it as he was getting ready for school (the boys’ getting-ready supplies have been banished to the bathroom off the kitchen to streamline the whole six-people-trying-to-get-out-the-door effort) and asked me if I wanted him to bring it up from the basement.

He’s thoughtful like that and it made me want to grab him by his elf-like ears and plant a big kiss on him. So I did. Then I smiled sweetly and reminded my little boy that the table probably outweighs him and I didn’t think his scrawny bag of bones could wrestle it up the staircase. But I did ask him to scout out our cavernous basement, as simply pre-locating the damn thing would add several minutes to my morning.

Soon he was back, delivering the four most-uttered words in our house, the ones that usually make me blind with fury: “I couldn’t find it. “ But he was doing me a solid by looking, so I thanked him and sent him along to the bus.

Fifteen minutes and every nook and cranny in the basement later, I was saying the same four words, as well as many others I probably shouldn’t publish here. I gave up and left a message for Joe asking him if he had seen it.

He called right back.

“Did you find it?”

“I left you a message fifteen seconds ago. Of course I haven’t found it.”

“Did you look everywhere?”

“Everywhere it’s logical for a six-foot *#&$!) table to be.”

“Did you look…in the backseat of your car?”


Morals of the story: Be nice to people when they’re doing you a favor. And when you’re the one doing the favor, such as hauling a heavy table to the car for your wife, be nice enough to tell her where the *#(&!@ it is.

1 comment:

Stacy said...

Bwahahahaha! Love it! lol


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