On Monday morning I will start my brand-new, full-time job, making the huge shift from mostly-at-home mommy to on-the-go, 9-to-5 mommy. I have the same feeling I usually do on my last few days of a vacation – almost panicky, knowing that my last few hours of freedom are quickly ticking away. Must have fun NOW!
This week has been a whirlwind of activity, getting our family all geared up for the big change. Evan, Cam and I had doctor appointments, all the boys had haircuts, I took them to have some pictures taken (they hadn’t yet had professional portraits as a gang of four brothers). And there were a million other little errands and phone calls and ends to tie up.
Yesterday I had my last lunch with my gang of friends. They made it awesome for me, showering me with awesome (and unexpected!) gifts and wishing me good luck. I was surrounded by my best buddies but felt a little sick to my stomach, knowing that next week my girls will go on with their get-togethers without me. From now on out I’ll have to make a conscious effort to stay connected with them and set aside time at night and on the weekends to have some girl time.
And this weekend will be the hardest of all, squeezing in every spare second with my boys. I won’t be able to pop into the elementary school to help out anymore, or take Cam for a $1 McDonald’s Coke during that hour before his younger brothers get home. And the thing that makes my stomach absolutely ache: I won’t be there when they get home from school. Joe will be there, but my own debriefings will have to wait until I roll through the door after six.
This past week I’ve spent 99 percent of my time with the baby on my lap or in my arms, knowing that soon he’ll be hanging out with Nana and I’ll be an hour away at work. I’ve had my nose buried in the curls at the back of his neck willing myself to remember that amazing smell when I’m away all day at work.
Okay, that’s enough! Whining over!
You know that character Debbie Downer on SNL? I’m feeling a little like her. As if each of my complaints should be followed by that wahhh- wahhh-wahhh sound.
When I give myself a much-needed reality check I can see that although my new job will bring huge changes to my life, it will also bring new opportunities and challenges. I’ll be back into the work world, in a job I am incredibly excited about and one I know I will be able to do well.
My husband and I have raised very well-adjusted kids who are resilient and who actually think changes are kind of fun. The baby is a happy little kid who loves his grandparents and will have a great time with them. Being away from him all day will make the time we have together even more special, and that goes for his big brothers too.
They will be fine. I will be fine. We will be fine.
And in the spirit of "laughing to keep from crying," here is my very favorite "Debbie Downer" episode. The best SNL sketches are when the actors completely fall apart and start cracking up.