Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Liar, Liar, This Seat is Setting My Pants on Fire
The other night when I was making dinner Brandon appeared in the kitchen with a sad look on his face and the beginning of tears in his eyes. “Mom,” he asked, “is it true that when I was a baby you made me sleep in a box with holes cut in it?”
At this point I could hear Jerame cackling in the other room, so it was pretty easy to guess where this bizarre, random question was coming from. I thought about it a second and gave Brandon an answer I knew would be comforting to him: “No honey, you had a crib, but we made Jerame sleep in the yard because he smelled so bad.”
Jerame totally had it coming. He’s been on a roll lately with the crazy lies. Like when he told Brandon that the families on “Extreme Home Makeover” don’t really get a free vacation to Disneyworld while their houses are being transformed – they just make it look that way and the families are really just camped out at a Motel 6 down the street. Brandon was absolutely horrified and was really working up some anger about the injustice of the ABC network when we told him Jerame was just making it up.
WHY lie about a home improvement show? Why not? Sometime it’s just fun to get a rise out of people and siblings are more entertaining than anyone else. It’s part of childhood – the kind of thing that traumatizes you at the time, but you end up laughing about with your own kids years and years later. Like when my brothers convinced me I always had to sit in the middle seat in the car because if I sat by a window, the balance would be off and the car would tip over. I sat on that stupid vinyl strip, my butt freezing in the winter and my thighs scorching in the summer, for literally YEARS until I wised up and demanded a window seat.
When I asked Joe if he remembered any lies told among his family members, he just gave me a funny look and said, “No…we generally told the truth in our family.” Whatever! Joe has had a problem with West family fibbing since the early days of our relationship, and here’s why: because the best part of our little lies is seeing if someone will actually buy them. This sometimes leads to some rather dumb lies, like running into a room and screeching that you were just down the hall and did you know the bathroom is on FIRE?! And when everyone jumps to their feet in mortal terror, screaming “What? The bathroom is on fire? Really?!” you can then fall on the floor holding your stomach, laughing at how dumb everyone is.
Joe doesn’t think that’s too funny. But we’re working on him.